Moscow Morning, Midnight-3 AM All the news that Americans need to know from America’s closest ally, Russia. We’ve always been allies with Russia.
Texting with Trump, 3-4 AM Join Mr. Trump as he comments on Hollywood star’s love lives, the weight of his enemies, and the blacks in the most dignified way possible: via Twitter in the middle of the night.
Million Billion-Dollar Movie, 4-6 AM
Watching “The Today Show” With Corey Lewandoski, 6-10 AM Corey Lewandoski watches the Today show on his phone while shrieking “FUCK YOU, CUNT,” over and over at it. (Filling in for Corey this week is Rudy Giuliani.
Ivanka! 11-11:56 AM Like Oprah, but with an icy white lady. No one is getting a car.
Tiffany! 11:56 AM-12 PM Cancelled.
Lunch With Chris Christie 12-1 PM Chris Christie is forced to eat junk food while Donald Jr. and Eric Trump laugh at him and flick at his corrupt man-titties.
Curt Schilling’s Sports Talk, 1-3 PM Trump TV’s daily sports call-in show is a chance for fans to interact with Curt Schilling, who once threw a ball even though he had a boo-boo. Hear Curt’s takes on Colin Kaepernick (traitor), Cam Newton (showboat), and Tom Brady (innocent).
An Obese Woman Hate-Fucking An American Flag, 3-4 PM Highest rated show on the network.
Pussy Gabbers, 4-5 PM Katrina Pierson, AJ Delgado, Ann Coulter, and Kellyanne Conway discuss the day’s events. Some topics from the upcoming weeks are “Staving off hunger pangs with cigarettes”, “Which foreigners are the dirtiest?” and “Maybe she deserved to be raped.”
Hannity, 5-Midnight Sean’s guest tonight, and every night, is Donald J. Trump.