Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

u/mightandglory Gonna Be My Name

Things we learned during John Perry Barlow’s AMA on Reddit.

  • One time, his backstage pass read ‘The guy who’s not Hunter’ and that made him so sad.
  • Information wants to be free, but he prefers to get paid for speaking and writing and stuff.
  • Once wrote a song about an alcoholic midget golfer called Dorf Rat.
  • Bobby smells like vanilla, but in a manly way.
  • Back in the good old days, John Perry Barlow liked to get fucked up and shoot pistols off in enclosed spaces to support his arguments. Even Mickey thought that was wrong. “Someone could get hurt,” Mickey said, and this is a man who once chased a roadie with a chainsaw because his gong hadn’t been polished properly.
  • 50 duck-sized horses.
  • Sometimes Garcia would tell him, “You’re such a good friend: I think of you like a brother,” and John Perry Barlow’s heart would break all over again.
  • He is not related to the guy from Dinosaur, Jr.
  • He doesn’t write songs much anymore, his time being occupied by sitting in exotic cities with other rich, smart people talking about how rich and smart they are.
  • Bradley Manning should be on the twenty-dollar bill and President Obama should be impeached, then visited by the Tickle Monster. (I might be paraphrasing slightly: there is a distinct possibility that I was just skimming at this point, looking for stuff about the Dead.)
  • John Perry Barlow is pretty sure he’s The Most Interesting Man in the World. In his defense, he kind of is.
  • Him and Bobby once helped each other out, hand-wise, but that doesn’t make him gay because Bobby really did look like a girl back then.
  • If he had time to prepare, Batman would win.
  • Keith, no contest. It was like a baby’s arm holding an apple.

1 Comment

  1. He is also saddened by the fact that his attempt to use all three of his names, just like the great or at least memorable serial killers, has failed. JPB just ain’t cuttin’ the mustard no matter how gruesome his former crimes may have been. Also, Cassidy was about a horse, not someones kid or that speed fueled wingnut that used to drive the bus.

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