Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Unlikely Items That Have Had Stealies Slapped On Them

  • Bar Mitzvah balloons with “Today, you are a Kreutzmann!” printed below the Stealie.
  • Foie gras.
  • Ant spray, but a very environmental one.
  • Industrial centrifuge. (You have to question the decision-making process there: a Stealie is not enhancing the value of a centrifuge, let alone an industrial one. In fact, if I were the one buying centrifuges and saw one with a Stealie, I would buy the other one.)
  • Plunger.
  • Civilian-grade gas masks. (“WARNING! Do not expose to gas!”)
  • Communion wafers.
  • The Defense Technology© First Defense® CS spray (0.7%) MC Stream.
  • In 1984, the band sold t-shirts depicting then-Premier Gorbachev of the then-extant Soviet Union with a Stealie replacing his trademark port-wine stain. (I would totally buy this shirt.)
  • Stealie-shaped pinata that had doobies in it instead of candy, but also had some candy. (That is two objectively good ideas in a row.)


  1. On a related note there was some popular Gorbachev blotter in the 90s.

  2. Don’t tell ToTD this, but the first time I saw Dancing Bears associated with the band was in 1982 or so. They were printed in gold on some fabulous blotter.

    Just did a little research and I found my memory was spot on – they even made an appearance in the DEA’s Microgram publication a few years later.

  3. I have a stealie on my toaster

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.