Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


marshall_pig-bikeHey, Pig.

“Don’t you ‘hey, Pig’ me, you four-flusher! I’ll pistol-whip you with my switchblade!”

That’s called stabbing, Pig.

“Aw, you know the ol’ Pig ain’t gonna stick ya: just slice a lil bit.”

Don’t do that, please.

“If you insis’ on being such a fancy-lad, then: all right. No knives.”

Thanks, Pig. Nice bike.

“Part o’ the fleet! Got my hog here, got the Ford parked a few blocks away where none o’ these dopesuckers can find it and destroy it or give it away like the rest of them cars.”

Right, the Cortina scam. Rakow talked some guy into giving you guys 13 Ford Cortinas.

“Oh, yeah. No one knows what ol’ Ronny did to get them cars, but one afternoon: bang. Baker’s dozen o’ little British on the street outside the office and I picked the red one.”

How long did the auto pool last.

“I don’ think they made Christmas! Bank came and got some. Billy’s broke three times in the first two weeks, so he drove it into a swimming pool in the middle of the night. Keith and Mrs. Donna Jean crashed theirs into each other, even though this was 1968 and they weren’t in the band yet. Mickey straight-up lost his.”

So, how did you end up keeping yours?

“Because the Pig ain’t a dummy, that’s why! I drove that lil sedan for a week and she sounded good and felt good and drove good; dammit, I fell in love with that car. First new car I ever had, too.

“I didn’t spend too much time with Rakow, but I knew two things ’bout him: he was exactly who he seemed he was; and he wasn’t too good at paying bis, ‘specially little ones. Note was only for $42 a month, so I went down to the dealership and worked it out where I paid it ‘stead of him.

“But, damn: I still hid the thing when those tow trucks came around, and they sure did, boy. All them cars: whooosh. Gone. Still got mine.”

What about the bike? Nobody else in the band ever rode, did they?

“Ha! These boys? Nah. Hell, nah. Case you haven’t noticed: couple of ’em can barely walk. Bobby likes sittin’ on the thing while getting his picture taken. Phil’s scared of it.”


“Don’ understand it much: he starts shrieking and then accuses me o’ being a ‘mechanical centaur.’ It’s weird.”


“I park around the corner and walk now.”

That’s thoughtful of you.

“Well, I do love these boys, in case you haven’t noticed. We spit fire, dammit.”

Sure do.

1 Comment

  1. Who knew Pigpen would sound just like Cotton Hill. This is a great picture.

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