Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Volution, Happy To Get A Lay

SEXUAL REVOLUTION A nebulously-dated period that may or may not still be going on characterized by women taking control of both their sexuality and reproduction, and a general relaxing of societal mores towards, and legal repercussions from, sexual expression.

SEXUAL EVOLUTION Men grow extra dicks on their shoulders so they can hump in a crowded subway car. Breasts become USB 3.0-compatible. Human buttholes split into two orifices: one for business, one for fun.

SEXUAL DEVOLUTION Civilization is reduced to people wandering around while pointing at their exposed genitals and screaming, “MOUTH TIME!”

SEXUAL AMIR BAR-LEVOLUTION Started off as a quickie and lasted four days.

SEXUAL MALEVOLUTION Shit gets dark. Knife-dicks are the least worst thing about the Sexual Malevolution.

SEXUAL TEVALUTION Everyone is required to wear Teva sandals while having sex, and people just stop doing it; humanity dies within a generation.

SEXUAL KEVOLUTION If you see Kevin McHale, you have to fuck him.


  1. 3 for the price of one…..

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