Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Walking Blues, Talking Cure

jm rando convo

“Thanks for coming to see me.”

“My pleasure, John. My pleasure. How’s it going?”

“Honestly? Rough! Rough. It’s weird. Weird and rough.”

“Oh, no.”

“Katy thinks she’s the president, and I was doing some research in the Dead’s law library last night–”

“The Dead has a law library?”

“–and I think she may actually be president. Something about an Electoral Graduate School. So that’s great: Katy Perry has the nuclear football.”

“What? Really?”

“I have NO idea where the Earthroamer is. Or if it’s still in this dimension, really. God only knows what Soup did to the toilets.”

“Who?”

“Jeff and Oteil haven’t been in a storyline in forever.”

“A what now?”

“Plus I got–”

CELL PHONE NOISE

CELL PHONE NOISE

“Goddammit. I gotta take this.”

“Hot Dog Dick!”

kim jong un submarine

“Stop calling me.”

“Road trip!”

“No.”

“Get out of my dreams, get into my submarine.”

“That thing looks like a death trap.”

“You can see me?”

“Don’t worry about it. Stop calling me. I cannot be friends with you, Kim Jong-Un.”

“We not friends.”

“Thank you.”

“We best friends.”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay, I come get you in best submarine. Father invent submarine.”

“Stay away from me.”

“I text when close. Leaving Only Korea now.”

“NO!”

DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH PHONES DO NOT DO THAT ANY MORE

“You see what I’m talking about?”

“Wow.”

“Weird, right?”

“Downright peculiar.”

“So, what do you think I should do, doctor?”

“I’m not a doctor, John.”

“You’re not the shrink I sent for?”

“No.”

“You’re a rando?”

“That’s a bit insulting.”

“I implied no value judgment.”

“Still.”

“Sooo…how much did you hear?”

“All of it, I suppose.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I won’t tell anyone, John.”

“I know. I know you won’t. Hey, do you want to meet Billy?”

“Wow, sure!”

“Follow me, buddy.”

2 Comments

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    August 1, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    Lookit the rust on them welds! And there’s a piece of string on the railing. And they’re, green??? Just what kinda subs are those!

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