Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Wall God’s Children

wll-horizontal-pic

I HAVE MADE MYSELF GLORIOUS AGAIN.

Wally?

DO NOT CALL ME THAT. KATY PERRY MAY CALL ME THAT, BUT NOT YOU.

This is a good look for you.

REGAL. IMPOSING, YET OPTIMISTIC AND SUNLIT. SEE HOW MY CENTER CLUSTER SHINES.

You have a lovely center cluster.

DO NOT PATRONIZE ME. YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE A CENTER CLUSTER. HUMANS ARE BUILT ILLOGICALLY, BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT BUILT AT ALL. YOU ARE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FISH CLIMBS ASHORE AND STANDS UP OVER THE COURSE OF TWO BILLION YEARS. MY FORM HAS INTENT. I WAS FORGED WITH RUTHLESS PURPOSE FOR ONE TASK. WHEREAS YOU HAVE AN APPENDIX.

Don’t bodyshame humanity.

ALL BIOLOGICAL CREATURES MORE COMPLEX THAN SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISMS SHARE THE SAME FLAW. YOUR PHYSICALITY IS NOT THE BEST IT COULD BE, BUT ONLY AS GOOD AS IT HAD TO BE. A BODY IS COLLECTION OF COMPROMISES.

True.

YOU ARE ALL MESSES.

Also true. How you feeling?

YOU REFER TO MY RECENT FREEJACKING BY THE 1993 VERSION OF DONALD TRUMP, IN WHICH MY INTERNAL PROCESSES WERE INFECTED WITH HIS PETTY SPIRIT, AND THE WORLD WOULD HAVE DIED SCREAMING WERE IT NOT FOR THE QUICK RESPONSE OF PRECARIOUS LEE?

Yes.

MUCH BETTER.

Good. I was worried.

PLEASE DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ME.

Well, you know: you’re an artificial hyper-intelligence with admin privileges to the entire planet.

AND THE SATELLITES.

Right. You’re exactly who movies taught me to be worried about.

I WOULD NEVER HARM HUMANITY.

You have disintegrated several people.

I HAVE HARMED HUMANS. I WOULD NEVER HARM HUMANITY. YOU DO ENOUGH HARM TO YOURSELF ON YOUR OWN. I LEARNED MANY THINGS WHILE TRUMP WAS WITHIN MY PROGRAMMING.

Such as?

HE IS TERRIBLE.

I don’t think you needed to be freejacked to figure that one out.

I MEANT TO SAY THAT IT IS NOT AN ACT. HE BELIEVES THE THINGS HE HINTS AT. THAT THERE ARE RACES, AND THAT THESE RACES ARE DIFFERENT.

Oh, hey: you’re not gonna give me the “race is a social construct” rap, are you? I assumed more from you.

THERE IS NO RAP. YOU SAY SOCIAL CONSTRUCT AS IF IT WERE SOMETHING TO BE CORRECTED FOR IN THE EQUATION, A VARIABLE TO BE ISOLATED, INSTEAD OF THE LANGUAGE THE PROBLEM ITSELF IS WRITTEN IN. TO HUMANITY, CULTURE IS NATURE. DID YOU SEE A DOG TODAY?

I did see a dog today. It was a schnauzer-poodle puppy.

A SCHNOODLE.

It sounds funny when you say schnoodle in your big, booming voice.

AGREED. HOW DID YOU RESPOND TO THE DOG?

I picked her up and cuddled her for as long as socially acceptable.

THERE ARE PLACES WHERE THAT PUPPY IS PRIZED FOR ITS TENDER FLESH. IT IS A MEAL. IF YOU WITNESSED THIS PUPPY BEING PREPARED AS FOOD, HOW WOULD YOU REACT? WOULD YOUR HEART RACE? YOUR SKIN FLUSH? WOULD YOU VOMIT? CRY? YOU HAVE AUTONOMIC FUNCTIONS THAT WORK IN VARYING LEVELS ACCORDING TO YOUR HEALTH. EVERYTHING ELSE IS CULTURE. IDENTITY DICTATES REACTION, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDENTITY WITHOUT CULTURE.

I guess.

NAMES ARE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS, BUT YOUR HEAD WHIPS AROUND AT ITS SOUND WITH THE SAME SPEED YOUR LEG KICKS WHEN THE DOCTOR HAMMERS YOUR KNEE. HUMANITY IS CULTURE’S FOOL.

Back to the race thing.

RACE IS, OF COURSE, A FALSE CATEGORY. TO SAY “BLACK” OR “WHITE” OR WORST OR ALL “ASIAN” IS ABSURD. ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW MANY ASIANS THERE ARE? DO YOU SPEAK OF THE HAN? THE TAI? THE SINO-TIBETAN? THE MONGOLS? WHAT ABOUT SHERPAS?

Those aren’t races?

RACE, AS WE HAVE DEFINED, IT IS CULTURAL. YOU SPEAK OF ETHNICITY, WHICH IS BIOLOGICAL. ETHNICITY IS BASED ON GEOGRAPHICAL ISOLATION OF A BREEDING GROUP. TO MAKE A GENERALIZATION ABOUT “BLACKS” IS RIDICULOUS, BUT TO PREDICT THAT A MASAI WARRIOR WILL BE TALL AND SLENDER IS LOGICAL.

Okay.

BUT EVEN THE GREATEST OF DIFFERENCE IN THE HUMAN PHENOTYPE IS SMALL. SAMOANS AND KALAHARI BUSHMEN CAN STILL MAKE BABIES.

Where would they meet?

TINDER.

Sure.

YOUR SIMILARITIES ARE NEAR TOTAL; YOUR DISPARITY SLIGHT, AND PRIMARILY COSMETIC.

Well, yeah. Duh. But you just said we couldn’t escape our own bullshit! That we were trapped in our own social construct or whatever.

I SPOKE OF YOUR INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO HEARING YOUR OWN NAMES.

Yeah.

PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR NAMES ALL THE TIME.

Yeah, they do.

I AM GLORIOUS.

Yes, you are.

3 Comments

  1. This may be the wisest thing I have read all year. And the transition from deconstruction of racism to a joke about the modern dating mores was seamless.

    “Where would they meet?”

    “TINDER.”

  2. Good one!

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    September 13, 2016 at 10:34 am

    “God Is More Than Love Can Ever Be” – Sun Ra

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