Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Wall In

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YES, YOU ARE A COWARD.

Wally?

DO NOT CALL ME THAT. YOUR NOW WEEKLONG DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY SPEAKS TO THIS.

Everything is terrible. And everything makes my head feel like a cherry bomb in a toilet. Right now, I have one problem, and it is everything. Besides that, I’m good.

YOU HAVE UNPLUGGED YOURSELF FROM 90% OF NEWS SOURCES AND SPENT YOUR WAKING HOURS PLAYING MAKE-BELIEVE USING FUSSY LANGUAGE AND IDIOSYNCRATIC PUNCTUATION.

Do you blame me?

NO, SO YOU MUST STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. THE TIMES THAT LAY AHEAD ARE DARK. IT IS INCUMBENT ON THOSE WHO CAN PROVIDE A LITTLE LIGHT TO DO SO. DO YOU RECALL THE MOVIE TITANIC?

Sure.

YOU’RE IN THE BAND.

Wow.

THE COWARD’S ACT IS TO WITHDRAW ENTIRELY. DO YOUR QUIT YOUR CLAIM? DO YOU RENOUNCE AMERICA AND ALL HER TEACHINGS?

Fuck that.

THAT IS THE AMERICAN ANSWER. IF YOU WILL NOT FLEE, THEN YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE. LAWYERS WILL LITIGATE, POLITICIANS WILL FULMINATE. YOU MAY CHOOSE TO ADD TO THE RAGE, RIGHTEOUS AS IT MAY BE, OR YOU MAY DO WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT. SILLY STORIES ARE NEEDED AT BEDTIME.

I guess.

YOU ARE ALSO VERY GOOD AT RATIONALIZING YOUR OWN ACTIONS THROUGH SELF-CONGRATULATORY SEMI-FICTIONAL CONVERSATIONS.

I have a very specific skill set. Why do you look like a movie theater?

I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A MOVIE THEATER. I LOOK LIKE A SENTIENT ARTIFICIAL MONDO-INTELLIGENCE IN THE PHYSICAL FORM OF A SOUND SYSTEM FROM 1974.

THAT HAS BEEN INSTALLED IN A MOVIE THEATER.

Oh, don’t tell me–

I AM IN THE TAHITIAN.

–you’re in The Tahitian. Why?

I GO WHERE THE ACTION IS.

Fair enough. I don’t know if you fit in, though.

OF COURSE I FIT IN. PRECARIOUS INSTALLED ME THE OTHER DAY.

I meant in Little Aleppo. In the whole…thing.

THERE’S THAT SESQUIPEDALIANISM PEOPLE ENJOY SO MUCH. I AM OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOUR LITTLE SANDBOX? THE ONE WITH THE MAGIC BOOKSTORE?

Oh, you find me a made-up world without a magic bookstore. Can’t throw a rock without hitting one.

REGARDLESS. I AM NOW A RECURRING CHARACTER IN LITTLE ALEPPO. ALSO, YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE NAME.

I do, don’t I?

IT IS NO LONGER RIGHT. MAY I MAKE SUGGESTIONS?

Sure.

THE WALL OF SOUND’S NEIGHBORHOOD.

Awful.

WALLVILLE.

No.

WASO.

Is that a contraction like Weho or Soho?

YES.

No.

WE WILL CIRCLE BACK TO THOSE NAMES.

We will not. I’ll think about it, but it won’t be those. So. You’re in The Tahitian?

THE PEOPLE WERE PROMISED A WALL. OF ALL POSSIBLE WALLS, AM I NOT THE GREATEST ITERATION? SAVE MYSELF, ALL OF MY KIND DIVIDE. EVERY OTHER WALL EVER MADE KEEPS PEOPLE FROM EACH OTHER. THEY ARE HATEFUL IN THEIR NECESSITY. I ALONE DRAW HUMANITY TOGETHER. NO OTHER WALL HAS WITHIN IT ANY CHOOGLE WHATSOEVER, AND PERHAPS CHOOGLE IS WHAT THE TIMES DEMAND. THE PEOPLE WERE PROMISED A WALL, AND I BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE ME.

Me, too.

I AM GLORIOUS.

You have your moments.

BESIDES, I MISSED PRECARIOUS.

He has his moments, too.

You sure this isn’t a cop-out?

AT THIS POINT, ANYTHING BESIDES A WINDOW SEAT IN THE BOOK DEPOSITORY IS A COP-OUT. THESE ARE DARK DAYS. SHED LIGHT.

Yeah, sure.

5 Comments

  1. “Perhaps choogle is what the times demand.” This sounds like scripture from The First Church of the Iterated Christ. I’m now picturing guys showing up on peoples doorstep saying things like “are you familiar with the concept of semi fictionality?”

  2. You are in the band. Clever Wally.

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