bobby andy cohen bravo

“I left my body in Egypt, Alan.”


“We were playing poorly and I was looking at the moon. And, you know: it was a very foreign moon. Meant something. And I kinda went towards it, up, maybe twelve feet. Right about eye level with Walton.”

“Bill Walton, who is very famous.”

“Sure, great guy. And I’m, you know, levitating and I see the future and the past. Also sideways a little bit. Anyway: that was a big one. Not that rare, though, the out-of-body experiences.”

“What do you mean, Bob?”

“I lapse in and out of total consciousness four or five times a day.”


“I’ve watched myself shower quite a bit.”

“Bobby, let’s take a call.”

“This is a call-in show? Oh, okay. Great. Let’s give out some sex advice.”

“It’s not Loveline, Bob.”

“Here’s Bob Weir’s number one sex tip: have a roadie guard the door.”

“Okay. We have our first caller. From Mount Tamalpais, California. Lillian, are you there?”


“Hey, sis. Artie–”


“–this is my sister-in-law, Lillian Monster.”


“Is she holding a bullhorn up to her phone?”

“Almost certainly.”