Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Ways And Mean

I’d eat the gun;
But I’m a poor shot.
A noose would be nice;
But I can’t tie knots.

Poison is cheap;
But it burns up your throat.
Drowning seems peaceful;
But I’m too fat: I’d float.

I’d take all the pills,
But I don’t have a scrip.
Slice open my wrists;
But I can’t stand blood’s drip.

Jump off a tall building;
But I couldn’t take the fall.
I’ll have to live;
Death takes some balls.


  1. Car running in a closed garage seems peaceful enough. We all gonna die though, so why not just live it out and see what happens? Maybe luckm’s just about to bite!

  2. It all takes Balls,

    Comment section is here if you need us.

  3. Homage to Dorothy Parker, yes?

  4. you scared me, but i am hoping dorothy homage only. you ok?

  5. The world needs more Orange Juice Wranglers.

  6. Reminds me of “Suicide Chump”, the 80s-era Zappa tune. “Well maybe you’re afraid of jumping, and poison makes you sick…” And “Don’t wanna mess your face up, cuz we won’t know if its you. Well there’s just so much to worry about, now whatcha gonna do?”

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