Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Ways To Commemorate Malcolm X’s Death

  • Conking your hair.
  • Rejecting wearing your hair in the white man’s style.
  • Shopping for skinny ties.
  • Hanging out with Muhammad Ali.
  • Choosing a wife that is the correct height, and half your age plus seven.
  • Preaching about Yakub, the black scientist from 6,000 years ago who created the white race as an act of devilry. (Seriously: go look up the stuff the Nation of Islam believes. It’s so much crazier than regular religious crazy.)
  • Becoming disillusioned with said Nation of Islam after learning that The Honorable Elijah Muhammad was banging everything in sight.
  • Writing letters to loved ones who are far away, because it is the Sixties and you cannot Skype with them.
  • Remembering phone numbers. (That’s not specific to Malcolm, I suppose. Everyone had to remember phone numbers back then.)
  • Arriving at the conclusion that all men are brothers, and all women sisters, and that we’ve got to work together–every single one of us–to bring about peace on earth, then getting shot for that conclusion.
  • Correcting people who think Malcolm’s name was “Malcolm the 10th.”
  • Telling The Man as loudly and intelligently as possible to go fuck himself.


  1. This cracker and this wine are now the skin and blood of your god. This magic underwear will protect you if you let me marry all the 14 year olds. Some guy turned a stick into a snake and freed his tribe. Etc. Crazy. But not more crazy.

  2. Nation of Islam is now connected with The Church of Scientology……I’m serious.

  3. You can celebrate racial harmony with the partridge family episode “soul club” in which Danny Partridge joins the panthers, and Keith co-writes an “afro” song with Richard Pryor.

    The whole episode is great, but the copyright cops found it.

  4. Mr. TOTD, The new website needs a “like” button. For when a post makes a person feel expressive, but there isn’t anything to say. Thank you.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      February 21, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      I have never had the problem of not having something to say.

      Trying to figure out the “Like” button.

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