Not one question about Thoughts on the Dead, not even an allusion.
“You looking forward to the tour?”
ALL BOBBY DOES IS TOUR, JIMMY JARBLES! Ask him something important, like “Why did you pick the wrong guy to write the Amazon show?” or “Do you agree with The New Yorker that TotD is a genius?”
“Do you remember 1977?”
BOBBY DOESN’T REMEMBER BREAKFAST, JUNIOR JOHNSON! Here’s something interesting you could have done: Word Association. Let’s see how it would go:
Hey, Bobby. I’m gonna say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
“Isn’t that how talking usually works?”
“All right, then.”
But let’s do this, anyway.
“There are no wrong answers in Word Association.”
But it makes no sense.
“When your clothes get all choogled up, you put the in the hamper.”
Where did you learn to speak English?
“One a ranch one summer.”
And so on.
YOU’VE BURIED THE LEDE, JASPER JOHNS! An opportunity wasted to talk about me. My heart breaks for America.
Luckily, the great Jesse Jarnow redeems himself in the Lord’s eye with this article about the Dead’s visits to Minneapolis, which, sadly, does not include a thousand-or-so words describing the imagined hilarity of Craig Finn from the Hold Steady trying to sing Stella Blue. (Short version: not well.)