Oteil posted this picture, with its tantalizing hashtag, this afternoon. Any speculation would be based in imagination and conjecture, but I think I can pull some stuff out of my ass.
Why Is Oteil Having Makeup Applied?
- Has recently begun dating Khloe Kardashian (he is her type) and now his days start with professional hair and makeup.
- Having replaced the bassist in the Allman Brothers, and then the Dead, Oteil is now in KISS.
- This is actually the very end of a daily, four-hour prosthetic application, as Oteil Burbridge was–tragically–born without a face. (The condition is called Achondroprosoponia and he is a hero.)
- Reviving his acting career:
- (I bet Oteil hasn’t called anyone a “honky” in a while, but he should; it’s a wonderful and silly-sounding word. Plus, it’s the least effective slur in the language: slurs are supposed to hurt someone’s feelings and “honky” does not; it might actually cheer people up to be called that. Part of this is obviously due to power imbalances and all that fun stuff, but a lot of it is the word. It’s too friendly sounding; if you had a buddy named Honky, he would be a real decent guy.)
- Was hanging out with Billy and “walked into another doorknob.”
- Is playing Nina Simone in the upcoming biopic; no one is happy about it.
- Has been added to the new 22-hour Dead documentary, and filmed a 45-minute interview about how different barbecue sauce was from state to state; it made the final cut of the picture without any edits.
- Sometimes Oteil just wants to feel pretty, and maybe you should get off his dick about it.