Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

When I Wake Up In My Makeup

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Oteil posted this picture, with its tantalizing hashtag, this afternoon. Any speculation would be based in imagination and conjecture, but I think I can pull some stuff out of my ass.

Why Is Oteil Having Makeup Applied?

  • Has recently begun dating Khloe Kardashian (he is her type) and now his days start with professional hair and makeup.
  • Having replaced the bassist in the Allman Brothers, and then the Dead, Oteil is now in KISS.
  • This is actually the very end of a daily, four-hour prosthetic application, as Oteil Burbridge was–tragically–born without a face. (The condition is called Achondroprosoponia and he is a hero.)
  • Reviving his acting career:
  • (I bet Oteil hasn’t called anyone a “honky” in a while, but he should; it’s a wonderful and silly-sounding word. Plus, it’s the least effective slur in the language: slurs are supposed to hurt someone’s feelings and “honky” does not; it might actually cheer people up to be called that. Part of this is obviously due to power imbalances and all that fun stuff, but a lot of it is the word. It’s too friendly sounding; if you had a buddy named Honky, he would be a real decent guy.)
  • Was hanging out with Billy and “walked into another doorknob.”
  • Is playing Nina Simone in the upcoming biopic; no one is happy about it.
  • Has been added to the new 22-hour Dead documentary, and filmed a 45-minute interview about how different barbecue sauce was from state to state; it made the final cut of the picture without any edits.
  • Sometimes Oteil just wants to feel pretty, and maybe you should get off his dick about it.

6 Comments

  1. When I was little the Italian kids would call us Mangia-Cakes…..

    • Less controversial than Courtney Love’s portrayal of Nina Simone.

    • Luther Von Baconson

      May 25, 2016 at 11:15 am

      yes, the irony is that Nonna (neighbour up the street) always made the best cakes, cookies, & pastries….anything. pretty liberal doling it out too. thank you, Nonna.

  2. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    May 25, 2016 at 10:41 am

    “Being There” – whatta weird movie! I am not sure if i should thank or curse TOTD from getting me to watch it again after all those years.

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