Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Who Can Replace Bill O’Reilly?

  • The Nuge.
  • Panda full of Thorazine.
  • The ghost of Tennessee Ernie Ford.
  • Pile of pubic hair in the shape of a sad gas station hot dog.
  • Blonde with nice stems and killer tits.
  • Gene Simmons.
  • Vomit on fire.
  • Rerun of All in the Family.
  • Black guy. (Hear me out. Fox News is watched by racist white people, and if there’s one thing racist white people love, it’s when a black guy tells them they’re correct to be racist. Bonus points if the black guy was in the military.)
  • Fuck it: hire Richard Spencer.

5 Comments

  1. Gene Simmons is probably too smart to replace Bill O. The Nuge seems the obvious choice, but Sheriff Pitchfork(David Clarke) could get the show if he loses re-election in Milwaukee County Sheriff. He would certainly fit your characterization of the proper black commentator for the Fox News audience. I am hoping that Watters World becomes a daily show that replaces Bill O just to add insult to injury.

  2. “Pile of pubic hair in the shape of a sad gas station hot dog” is almost unimaginably odd.

  3. Luther Von Baconson

    April 19, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Terry?

  4. Fox News in the evening has been deficient in bottle blondes for a few months. They’ll probably go that direction or, in the interest of diversity, maybe a bottle red.

  5. Whoever’s hosting Inside Edition now?

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