Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Who Says A Basic Bitch Can’t Play The Funk Music?

We’ve found it, Enthusiasts. The 800-pound gorilla of Sincere Acoustic Covers; the silverback that turned Dian Fossey into a woman; an ape whose cape King Kong wouldn’t tug upon. We have ourselves a winner, folks, and yes the song is not truly all acoustic, but it does have whiteness in spades, and whiteness is truly the most necessary component of the SAC.

Is it breathy? Oh, it is breathy.
Is it slow? Slower than a dead turtle.
Are there banjos? Fetch Granny her girdle, thar be banjos.
And does Taylor mean it? She means it, maaaaaan.

I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic, but this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to black people. I am including slavery and that time the Urkelbot ran amok in Indianapolis. They are owed reparations for this bullshit here; the song may in fact be a hate crime.

But I don’t hate you. Cleanse your palate with funk:


  1. That thrr sounds to be one of them banjtar/guitjos, therefore making it incrementally more lame.

  2. White People™

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    April 14, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    Thanks, TOTD – I can watch the words on the TS video and sing along with EWF.

  4. When did she break up with Earth, Wind, and Fire?

  5. You know nothing of Sincere Acoustic Covers until you’ve experienced the underwhelming vanilla-ness of Boyce Avenue:

    Might want to preemptively place a pillow down now, so your head has somewhere to land when Boyce Avenue lulls you to sleep!

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