Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Who We Missing?

band onstage 72 no phil bw

Reasons for Phil’s absence:

  • It was a Friday night show during Phil’s brief flirtation with orthodox Judaism.
  • It was a Tuesday night show during Phil’s long entanglement with orthodox alcoholism.
  • Takin’ a piss.
  • Ballin’ a fox.
  • Doin’ a line.
  • Saw a duck and ran terrified into the dressing room, slammed door, burrowed under couch, made keening noises.
  • Crowd surfing.
  • This was the only appointment he could get at the podiatrist for weeks. (Phil’s got corns.)
  • On line for the new iPhone.
  • At a playground slapping ugly children while telling them to “get used to it.”
  • Saw a carnival on the way to the gig.
  • Stepped in a normal-looking pile of leaves and a rope tightened around his leg and yanked him up to the ceiling.
  • In a crazy rich guy’s house, dressed as a kitty, and dangling from a rope as a living motivational poster.
  • Picking a fight with two Puerto Rican women in a Steak & Shake parking lot.
  • Galveston, Texas.
  • Charging (Light Brigade.)
  • Taking (Omaha Beach.)
  • Sieging (Stalingrad.)
  • Cross-dressing (Rocky Horror Picture Show screening in Petaluma.)
  •  Had Bobby draw him a map to the show and Phil is either in Narnia or East St. Louis, and either way he’s about to get stabbed.


  1. Balling a couch, keening a fox and slapping a clown?

  2. Searchin’ (for the sound)

  3. Wal-Mart. There was a sale on sweatbands.

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