Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Why Is Stella Blue?

  • It’s Monday.
  • She is a smurf.
  • Sex thing?
  • It’s a metaphor, man.
  • Stella Blue because those pigs wouldn’t come out of their houses like she told them to.
  • Tried treating her dermatitis with colloidal silver. (Look it up.)
  • Member of the Fugate family of Kentucky. (Look that up, too.)
  • Big Mets fan.
  • Held her breath too long.
  • Murdered by Jimmy “The Gent” Conway after the largest heist in American history, left in a meat freezer.
  • Because Stella enjoys oral copulation, but doesn’t know how to conjugate verbs properly.
  • She is Will Ferrell’s boy.
  • It’s her last name.
  • Because Hunter was alluding to a Wallace Stevens poem.
  • Her man was a mean mis-treater, a liar and a cheater; you’d be blue, too.
  • Clinical depression.


  1. The most convincing explanation I have heard is that Stella is a blue guitar. Came that way I guess.

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