Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

With So Much Housekeeping, The Place Should Be Spotless

Once again, the Comment Section provides the quiet wisdom (or annoying demands) that TotD needs. Disqus is terrible, and it will go. Those of you who tried, I appreciate it, but those of you who refused to have anything to do with the shitty layout and privacy bullshit may have been correct. This will be corrected, and soon.

The problem is one of incompatibility, the immovable object and the irresistible force. In this case, the object is the WordPress theme I’ve chosen. Other themes allow for embedded comment images and do some other stuff that this one can’t. If we must have images embedded into the comments (and I believe that we must), but Disqus is intolerable, then the only thing to do is change the theme.

Obviously, I would like the page to remain the same. As uncluttered as possible. A picture, then some words under it. Garcia’s nub up top.

A new theme is necessary (well, hopefully necessary) because TotD will be selling ads. Just like the outfield walls at minor-league baseball fields, but if you hit a home run into one, you will not get a free suit. That would probably break your computer.

BUT there will be no Google AdSense. No random nonsense about the Best Razor In The World, or the Hoodie That People Are Waiting Decades For. No pop-ups leading to Zerg.net. No sidebar billboards featuring a different woman from The View every time you opened the page.

Here’s the plan: Only ethical, locally-sourced, small-batch advertisements. TotD is going to have the most authentic ads since Possum Killin’ Jasper walked into the bar and shouted “WHO WANTS POSSUM? FRESH!” Say what you will about Jasper’s product, but he knew how to reach his consumer.

Any market–if one comes to exist–will be by Enthusiasts for Enthusiasts. These virtual billboards will live in Little Aleppo, and the Businessman’s Association of that neighborhood has very strict rules about what is and isn’t appropriate.

Here’s what it’s going to look like:

totd drawing

(The helicopter almost had to be turned into the Starship Enterprise, but I finished strong.)

Once the new theme is up, I’ll put a little box up asking for ads. If you want a square, tell me. T-shirts, or books, or guitars, or coffee, or whatnot (for an intensely circumscribed definition of “whatnot” that we’ll get to very soon). The working business model here is the corkboard at the grocery store in the hippie section of town.

Also: the Donate button is back, and we’re still not talking about it. The Gift Certificate button kept snapping at the baby and I had to have it put down. Also, it was a stupid fucking idea.

We will never speak of the Gift Certificate button again.

14 Comments

  1. I mean……….. what is going on

  2. I must say, the general clusterfuckosity of this webpage migrating endeavor might be the most on point GD 50th anniversary tribute of the bunch.

    You’ve really captured the spirit of the whole ramshackle, piecemeal Dead “organization”, and doing it all too late to actually make it into the 50th year is the dosed cherry on the sundae (which means a Samson to open set 2).

    Unironic round of applause for you, good sir.

  3. sometimes the interwebz has a huge learning curve

  4. McGannahan Skjellyfetti

    February 24, 2016 at 12:09 am

    Migrating sites is never easy, I think that the things been up the whole team is a huge win.

    Just do the inevitable and start now with google ads and amazon affiliates link. You’re going to spend 4x the effort for 1/50th the money by hawking heady organic ads. Make your money on boner pills like the rest of America

  5. Cool, I’d been thinking about preordering Jarnow’s Heads. Your ad reminded me, I did so, and you must now be getting a piece of the pie too.

  6. o/t: I’m signed up with Disqus, but I’m certainly glad that I don’t have to use it here. I can’t have my archive posts leapfrogging between this site and The Atlantic, where I’ve constructed a woodshed. https://disqus.com/by/dcreade/ That’s too much torque for most normals & larvals to handle.

    I could lock my archive, but that would defeat the entire rationale of my project. The contemporary age has cleared a space to indulge my particular style of megalomania, and I intend to make ample use of it.

    Note: I’m on sabbatical, at present. But I do expect to return to Disqusing.

    Yes, I over-write. Especially there. In serious on-line political discourse, brevity is not the soul of wit, it’s the dark heart of Confusion. It’s imperative to cross every i and dot every t.

    I do admit, I enjoy the ability to perpetually edit that Disqus provides me. My first drafts are sometimes messy. Never could pass a typing test.

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