Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Workin’ In A House Of Ghost Light

I’m glad to see you followed my advice, Holly Bowling.

“Oh, not you again.”

You joined a band! Good job: you can only play with yourself for so long.

“Don’t be weird or I’m getting our Parish.”

You already have a Parish?

“We’re serious about this, man.”

Nice. The name is Ghost Light?

“Yeah! You like it?”

Tough to say after a couple drinks.

“True.”

Introduce the band, Holly. Next to you is DJ Scarfmaster.

“Tom Hamilton.”

Noooo. Tom Hamilton is an ugly blond from Boston.

“Different people can have the same name.”

You’re blowing my mind, Bowling. Next to him is Young Jeff Chimenti.

“Steve Lyons.”

What does he play?

“Bass.”

Yeah, I can see that.

“Right? He just looks like the bass player.”

Who is Lady Jay Leno?

“Who?”

Debbie Denim.

“Ah. That’s Raina Mullen.”

She’s killing you in the shoe game.

“Not what this is about.”

You should catfight her.

“Don’t do that.”

You’re probably right. Who’s the guy–

Holly?

“Mm-hmm?”

What is your drummer wearing?

“Huh. Not sure what you’d call it. It’s almost a robe. Kind of a kimono.”

But definitely not a coat.

“I was just about to say that.”

Holly?

“Mm-hmm?”

Who’s managing your band?

“Oh, you know who it is.”

I do. Get out here!

“Hey, buddy.”

Benjy, what the fuck?

“Why am I coming out of an interdimensional dryer?”

No, I don’t care about that. Are you stealing John Mayer’s toppermosts?

“Yes.”

Why?

“Money and spite.”

Those are pretty good reasons, actually. Why do you need money? I thought you had John’s power of attorney in that contract you made him sign.

“I did! That contract was ironclad.”

So?

“It turns out iron is not the strongest substance you can make a contract out of. His lawyers are made from titanium-carbon alloys and tipped with diamonds. They went through that contract like toilet paper. And not the good kind. Gas station toilet paper.”

Makes sense.

“So I raided his wardrobe mansion before I left.”

What’s a wardrobe mansion?

“He bought a house for his clothes.”

Of course he did.

“It’s nice in there. There’s a whole trouser wing.”

Sure. And you got away with some toppermosts?

“Yup. And I’m giving ’em out! I’m like Robin Hood, but you shouldn’t give me a bow-and-arrow.”

Why not?

“Trust me.”

Okay. This is great, actually. Holly Bowling and Benjy Eisen back together again.

“2018 is gonna be the Year of People Who Love Very Specific Hats.”

I’m glad.

“The blonde chick’s kinda stealing my look, though.”

She is.

 

5 Comments

  1. I am excited..

    Tom Hamilton can deliver, Holly can deliver, should be fun.

    However it will probably be an east coast west coast thing and Ohio will miss out.. well maybe not, Holly is from Louisville.

  2. I was thinking “Standing in a Shaft of Ghost Light.”

  3. I would have named the band Signature Hats.

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