Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Worlds Collide, And Coexist, Like Checkers On A Board

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Is this your thing now?

“I identify as an Italian restaurant.”

That’s not a gender.

“It is on Tumblr.”

What would Garcia think?

“He would think it was as funny as I’m intending it to be.”

Dammit.

“Gotcha there a little, huh?”

Awful smug for someone who’s about to be yelled at by Taylor Swift.

“What?”

CELL PHONE NOISE

“MotherFUCKER!”

CELL PHONE NOISE

You should pick that up. It’s going to keep ringing.

“Why do I feel like Daffy Duck?”

Because I stole this bit from a Daffy Duck cartoon.

“Hey, Taylor.”

“Shut the FUCK UP, you ASSHOLE FULL OF AIDS.”

“Whatcha doing?”

“You are as FUCKING USELESS as QUEEN ELIZABETH’S COCK, you SWEATSOCK FULL OF VOMIT. You do NOTHING for me, FUCKING NOTHING, so I took care of things BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WITH A PAIR OF FUCKING BALLS!”

“You took care of things? What does that mean?”

taylor swift north korea

“I’m dating Kim Jong-Un now.”

“Look what I got, cocksucka! Number one white girl is queen of Only Korea now!

“I truly didn’t sign up for this. I just wanted to solo for hippies.”

“Tell your fat little whore Katy that I GOT NUKES NOW, TOO!”

“I’m not going to tell her that.”

“What the fuck are you wearing? Is this your thing now?”

“Taylor Swift, Kim Jong-Un: hang dai!”

“It’s really gotten too weird around here.”

6 Comments

  1. Spencer

    Bobby’s Big Boy…badum tsss

    • Spencer

      I had to post this because I have been laughing my ass off for ten minutes now. …

  2. mrcompletely

    He’s doing the Europe ’72 Ice Cream Kid, yo

    kind of a heady little joke, almost

    • Dawn

      i hope that is the case. i really do.

  3. Toomanyroads

    John Mayers hirt and Oteils guitar strap

    • Toomanyroads

      Shirt

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