Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

You Cannot Petition The Dead With Prayer

You know who had a petition? Martin Luther, and not the good one: the German coprophage who took all the fun out of Jesus. Jobless weirdos wearing parkas in the summer standing outside the supermarket have petitions. LaRouche supporters have petitions.

Leave your dumb petitions out of the Grateful Dead, or whatever’s left of it, please. It’s not a democracy; the crowd doesn’t get a vote. Why don’t we take a show of hands for set lists? Secret ballot to see which member of the hotel staff Mickey assaults tonight?

Art’s not a democracy.

Also, and this is a minor point, this was the thing to petition the NFL about? Not “stop killing linebackers slowly for purposes of wagering,” or “could you at least consider the fact that the cities you keep robbing can’t build bridges or keep hospitals open?”

Also also, the Grateful Dead playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl would be a train wreck, and not a fun and campy one; everyone involved would be deeply ashamed afterwards and Garcia’s braid would have to be ritually shorn.

26 Comments

  1. G.W.A.R. belongs in the Super Bowl halftime show. Not any Grateful Dead.

  2. What a terrible, terrible idea.

  3. Absolutely. Live at the Superbowl would be a catastrophe. But that may still make it an historic occasion, check out the Meatloaf performance at the Australian Football League Grand Final in 2011. People are still talking about it years later.

  4. If your petition contains the words dazzeled & precidence, you should be beaten with a glowstick.

    Also, SB 50 is in Santa Clara, not SF.

  5. 12,955 supporters and steadily growing…articles with Sports Illustrated, Fox Sports, KCBS Radio, NBC and CBS news, among a few lesser known media and blog sites, such as your own…a public addressing from The Grateful Dead themselves stating that they would in fact be IN if asked to perform..so clearly, the band itself approves. No prayer needed..but thanks for posting and sharing and for adding to the coverage 🙂

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