Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

You Some Kind Of Lawyer Or Something?

jeff chimenti chicago backHey. You look at me when I’m disappointed in you, mister.

“Oh, knock it off. It’s a fine.”

It’s not fine!

A fine, not…I’m not playing your Abbot and Costello games.”

What I worry about is the decision-making process.

“How so?”

Why’d you get pulled over? VW bus?

“Fuck, no.”

Dead bumper stickers?


Obama stickers? Those are worse.

“No. What? No. Dude: we were two long-hairs in the middle of nowhere who rolled through a stop sign stinking of weed.”

I guess it’s not that big a deal.

“Not really.”

Where was the bag?

“Glove compartment.”

Was it locked?

“Yeah, and so was the trunk in the back.”


“I don’t think that’s the actual law.”

No, fuck this: you’re being railroaded. I’m calling William Kunstler!

“Long dead.”

Fine, I’ll call Kuby.


  1. If your lawyer has a ponytail, yer pretty much goin’ to jail.

  2. Dad will be fine because I’m friends with all the lawyers ever and no judge could turn down this cute face

  3. Good thing they didn’t find the Dead Benji in the trunk!

  4. Did you just sneak some Jay Z in there?

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