Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

You Think This Is A Game?

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IMPORTANT PHONE NOISE

IMPORTANT PHONE NOISE

“Hillary, where have you been? I left a message an hour ago.”

“Well, I’ve been busy, Mr. President. Running for office.”

“Yeah. Going about as well as last time you did it.”

“Oh, suck my dick.”

“You’d fuck that up, too! Poke me in the eye or something.”

“What are we discussing, Mr. President?”

“What line are you calling me from?”

“I borrowed a phone from one of the reporters. Russian guy.”

“Goddammit, woman, you can’t be trusted with technology. How are you the last hope of the Republic?”

“John Podesta asked me the same thing the other day.”

“I know. I read the e-mail.”

“Again, Mr. President: is there a purpose to the call, or are you just busting my balls?”

“Before I tell you think I’m about to tell you, I want you to know: if you were running against a sane person, I would’ve laughed as I watched you die.”

“I’m aware. Now tell me.”

“I made a call.

“To whom?”

“Got someone to do a speech or two for you. Might ramp up the enthusiasm in key demographics.”

“Who?”

“Friend’s wife.”

“BEYONCÉ!?”

“Yup.”

hillary-phone

“I’M GONNA BE PRESIDENT!”

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“I love you.”

“Join the club. Oh: you need to learn the Single Ladies dance.”

“Done.”

“And the Clinton Foundation needs to buy Tidal.”

“Cash or third-party check from a foreign tyrant?”

“Hill?”

“Mr. President?”

“Never knocked me down, Hill.”

“Oh, suck my dick, Barry.”

1 Comment

  1. This is good, real good more of these,

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