Brent Mydland, ca. 1980s.org

Besides the insidious and frankly insipid misogyny of Never Love a Woman, the song contains some terrible advice: a woman in tight trousers should be trusted. She’s not armed. A lady in a trenchcoat and cargo pants probably has a flamethrower on here, but the chick in the tight jeans isn’t even wearing underwear.

Also: that is the wrong way to play the piano. I quit taking lessons in the fifth grade, but I do remember some stuff.