bruce bored

Bruce likes to have some elbow room when he goes to basketball games, so he lays down a fusillade of sloppy chili farts at the opening whistle and has the place to himself soon thereafter.

Also: the way to prevent teen pregnancy with 100% reliability is to make teen girls’ clothing out of the exposed skin between a white guy’s sock and pant leg. That two-inch strip of eggshell-colored flesh is the least sexy thing in the universe.