Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Maybe It’s ‘Cause It’s Midnight

Quick reminder: The Dead Or What’s Left Of ‘Em will be on Jimmy Fallon’s show tonight. Show starts at 11:35 on the East Coast, and the band usually goes on after midnight. They’ll play in the band slot. You know how talk shows work; why am I explaining it to you?

What will they play? New song? (No.) Box of Rain? (No.) Cover of the new Beyoncé song? (No, but not for lack of lobbying on Mickey’s part; Mickey likes songs about Red Lobster.)

TotD will now predict the future. Please welcome The Great Garnak!

Like Garcia?

And Karnak, yeah. Not that complicated a premise. Keep up.


Later. First, I gotta put on my turban.

Okay. I now communicate with the spirits of the dead, and the spirits of the Dead. OOOOOOoooh, that’s good communicatin’.

Just get to it.

The envelope!

Can I have the envelope, please?

Oh, holy shit: I’m Ed McMahon? I don’t wanna be Ed McMahon.

Someone’s gotta be. Gimme the damn envelope.


I MAKE MY PREDICTION. “A Saudi Arabian road where many men have fallen.”

You gotta repeat the–

I know how it works.

–line. Why won’t you play along?

Ah, whatever. “A Saudi Arabian, blah blah.”

MMMMmmm. May your white privilege turn into yellow snow.

Okay, whatever.

I will now blow into the envelope.


That was some good envelope-blowin’.

Aw, thanks. Okay: “A road in Saudi Arabia where men keep falling.”

And what is the question, Great Garnak?

The answer is “What is Sheik-down Street?”

I hate you so much.


That was a stretch.

Funnier than anything Fallon’ll say tonight.

Sure. Now: is this something you know, or a guess?

The spirits communicated with me.

A guess. Okay.

How would I know anything? No one calls me.


  1. Remember it needs to be at talk show band slot length even when played at molasses tempo. So I’m guessing Monkey & the Engineer

  2. Mayer and Weir did 2 songs on late late show, although Althea went over. Disaster Predictions:
    Lost Sailor/Saint of Circumstance and drummers come out in their white nautical caps.
    Mexicali Blues/Big River and Billy punches Bob in the dick.
    Scarlet Begonias into thumb-piano solo by Mickey.

    Why is it always the drummers?

  3. Crotch Horns > Drums > Space

  4. You held me enthralled through all of that. You’re magical.

  5. i just hope that josh milligan does not jump up and down the way he did at msg. this seems like a venue that might tempt him to do so.

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