Hey, Yoga Girl. Whatcha doing?
“Yoga.”
Cool. Great shirt. Although on second glance, you look to be meditating more than doing yoga.
“Sure, but: look at me. I do yoga.”
Not one doubt in my mind.
“But here’s the thing: since I bought this awesome Wall of Sound 2016 shirt, I’ve been able to yoga so much better than before. I can yoga longer, and much harder; plus, my accuracy is off the charts.”
Is that a thing?
“I did Sideways Mongoose pose this morning, and met Buddha.”
Yoga is not Buddhist.
“It’s all foreign.”
Sure. How else has the shirt improved your life?
“I’m two inches taller.”
Wow. That’s something. And you credit that strictly to the shirt?
“I do. Also, the shirt has really good karma.”
In what way?
“A spiritual way.”
I agree. Has there been any downside to the shirt?
“I’m in a higher tax bracket now.”
I don’t understand.
“Since I bought it, my income has doubled.”
I’m going to say wow again: wow.
“In fact, I can promise any purchaser that their income will double, as well.”
HOLD THE FUCK ON.
What?
“Hey. Is he your friend?”
Kinda.
Both of you shut up.
“He’s kind of a dick.”
He is. Do you wanna get a drink and talk about the shirt some more?
Seriously: shut the fuck up. You cannot promise things like that.
“It’s true, though.”
You gonna call her a liar? I mean: if you can’t trust a model from a stock photo wearing a computer-generated shirt, then what kind of world is it?
…
When you actually sell a product, you can’t lie about it. It is called fraud, and it is a felony, It is many felonies, in fact. It is also a sin. Stop that.
Hmm. You may be right. Wait, I got an idea. Everybody huddle.
HUDDLEHUDDLEHUDDLE
Pss pss pss.
Pss pss pss.
“Pss pss pss.”
Much better
Great. Hit it, Yoga Girl.
“Right, like, so I was saying: buying the shirt totally may possibly conceivably occur concurrently to your income doubling. Or halving. Or remaining steady with prevailing market forces.”
So much more legal.
Not as fun.
I would totally buy a
“Look at me. I do yoga” shirt
*note.. I do not do Yoga, I would be buying this to make fun of those that do.
you bundle in a jar of that nail polish, Scarborough Red, i’ll buy another one. due for a change.
…
played at the red barn
http://citizenfreak.com/titles/271539-clompin-clod-the-saga-of-stompin-tom-s-foot-or-what-in-hell-s-a-stompin-board
The Red Barn Auditorium in Oshawa?
http://grandbendstrip.com/2010/04/the-ballad-of-slim-gordon/
the restaurant Whitby/Oshawa, in the drive-thru where they served the Red Barn Rooster Burgers? played the Spruce Villa and the Genosha. had his own van too, Clompin’ Clod on the side with his profile like on the album. i have an autographed copy of this album. he was an uncle of a friend of mine, who’s father had a recording studio in town (our class recorded a christmas album there). he also had a Les Paul Goldtop which i coveted. not as cool as having a Hot Rod Uncle……..but a highlight nonetheless.
That’s awesome!
i’ll have to ask my mom about slim gordon. likely seen him at the Red Barn. she’s got good stories, as do your parents i’m sure, about seeing live music in and around Toronto.
I know the Red Barn as a bingo parlor, from the sounds of it was a wild place…..speaking of Le Paul Gold tops, is it true that Dickey Betts refinished his himself?
We had a Red Barn on LI. It was a knock off Dairy Barn, on the “bad side” of town, where you could buy your Boones Farm and Old English for $2.25 when you were old enough to reach the window.
my kinda place. my mom was telling me the Red Barn Oshawa burnt down May 2-4 weekend ’73. Partytime.ca
Luther, went to Canadian Tire today and bumped into Don Cherry (I shit you not). He drives a sweet late 70’s Lincoln and wished me a Happy May 2-4!
don was probably up for the Rick Vaive Open in Lakefield, no? Big Big party at the Miss Diana Motor Court in Peterborough. Sitt, Lanny, Jimmy Ralph (great guy at a Banquet) etc. last year Palmy got drunk and the Nair’d him.
Happy May 2-4!
“24 Canadian……..whirrrrrrrrrr!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-7waHeaZEQ