Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Still With This Bullshit

Oklahoma State Representative Justin Humphrey (R – Of Course) has recently introduced a bill requiring women seeking abortions to provide written consent from the father. The bill has already been tabled without a vote once, and it’s completely unconstitutional, but Humphrey is optimistic; he provided an interview to The Intercept, but the article quotes only some of his words.

Luckily, TotD has been provided with a copy of Rep. Humphrey’s full statement:

“Look at society today, look at the shape it’s in. You know why? Because men haven’t been making enough decisions. Men are left out of the conversation entirely. Men aren’t even allowed to be ghostbusters any more.

“I’m not saying a woman doesn’t control her own body, but when a man puts a gift in her, then she is no longer the sole owner. It’s like having an easement on someone else’s land.

“Lemme use a different metaphor: women are like a garden. Garden doesn’t plant itself, does it? Farmer does that. Man’s the farmer. And, you know, the garden doesn’t get to decide whether it wants to uproot all the vegetables. That’s up to the farmer.

“And we can’t forget the practical aspects of the bill. Women got scrambled eggs for brains sometimes. That’s why all the impulse items by the cashier at the store are aimed towards women, because they get confused and distracted. What if the abortion clinic had a great sign? Flashy, maybe pink? Ladies are going there! Women love to shop; sometimes they shop for shoes, and sometimes they buy abortions.

“You know what another benefit the bill has that I haven’t seen anyone in the biased mainstream media reporting? One out of five Oklahomans are functionally illiterate. I’m trying to get people improve their writing skills.

That has been a statement from Oklahoma State Representative Justin Humphrey (R – Jesus, These Motherfuckers).

1 Comment

  1. His actual words are even stupider though you have done an excellent job of lampooning this moron. No wonder women often come to detest men. A picture is worth a 1,000 words(nice bolo tie Justin).

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