Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Uncle John’s Nephew, Little Matty

B99285339Z.1_20150703104336_000_G3FHRBPL.2-0Hey, kid.

“Hey.”

Got dragged here by your mom?

“Yeah. It’s cool, whatever: get to stay in a hotel.”

Staying in hotels is awesome.

“We hung out by the pool and I met this other kid and we played Pokemon.”

Charizard?

“Bulbasur.”

Solid pokemanning there.

“Yeah, I beat the kid. He wasn’t very good, but it was fun.”

Not much of a Deadhead, are you?

“They’re all right.”

Yeah?

“My mom really likes them.”

Yeah. What are you into?

“Drake. Video games.”

This might be the opposite of Drake and video games.

“Kinda. Why do all the songs last twenty minutes?”

Tradition, I guess.

“Oh.”

Listen, kid: you behave this weekend and your mom’s gonna hook you up. Trust me on this one.

“Okay.”

And when you get home, check out a band called Slayer if you need some time away from your mom.”

“Are they like Drake?”

Yes.

“Okay.”

13 Comments

  1. maggiemay

    Bless this post. Just fucking #bless

    I connect with this on an absolute spiritual level. I used to hate the Dead and my parents’ weird interests and getting dragged everywhere.

  2. mrcompletely

    Bulbasaur is over too. It’s all EX based now, Seismitoad and Yveltal and the Virizion/Genesect combo. Exeggutor makign some surprise showings in the current metagame. Try to keep up

    • maggiemay

      Beautiful. I never got to play with Pokemon because it was kind of my brother’s thing but I used to watch him play Zelda and shit when we were younger

      • mrcompletely

        I googled all that. My kid loves that shit

    • thoughtsonthedead

      wut

      • maggiemay

        get a life NERDDDDDD

      • mrcompletely

        remember I have an 11 year old

  3. maggiemay

    In a perfect world I would show this to my brother because HE would connect with it on a spiritual level but that’s too risky because there’s like a 9% chance he’d tell mom and dad and then they’d start reading this blog and see all of the horrible, horrible jokes I’ve said to older men online and I’ll just completely perish

    • FreedomHaul

      Yeah, you probably shouldn’t tell your parents about this…

  4. Boogaloo

    That moment backstage on Maury when you find out Walton is NOT your father

  5. Maggies_Mom

    Maggie you get in here this minute

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